Like most people, I want to do better so I can be better, and with that comes the question of how to better myself. Honestly, I’d like it just to happen, but that’s not reality! So, I’m left with the challenge of figuring out how to improve. Each year for the last 15 years, I’ve set New Year’s resolutions. And for 15 years, I’ve accomplished some of those resolutions—but not all of them. The ones I did achieve only happened after I changed the parameters of my resolutions.

As we get closer to the new year, I’m starting to feel that familiar urge to create a batch of new resolutions. But along with that comes the nagging thoughts of not accomplishing all of them—or changing them just to feel like I’ve achieved something. Yes, I know in my head that this approach will never work, but in my heart, I still want it to.

So, I started asking friends and family about their thoughts on New Year’s resolutions. Their responses weren’t shocking, but they were a little disheartening. Most said they don’t bother making resolutions anymore—they just try to “do better.” My follow-up question was, why? Their answers boiled down to three key reasons:

1. Unrealistic expectations
2. No real accountability
3. Lack of motivation

You might think I would follow suit and just aim to “do better.” But not me—I’m way too strong-willed (or so I tell myself). Like most things I don’t fully understand, I decided to dive deeper. I researched why New Year’s resolutions so often fail.

First, I found out I wasn’t alone. One widely quoted statistic notes that 92% of people don’t follow through on their resolutions (US News). Another source showed that 80% of people give up on their resolutions by the second week of February (Author Rick Lewis). A third study found that 88% of those who set New Year’s resolutions fail, even though 52% were confident of success at the start (Forbes). Yet another study revealed that 25% of people abandon their goals within the first week (Statistic Brain).

After all that, I understood why resolutions often don’t work. But I still wanted to know how I could make them work for me. What if I reframed each goal into a process and let the chips fall where they may? This concept—“the process is greater than the outcome”—emphasizes the importance of focusing on the journey and techniques involved rather than just the results (LifeHack.org).

For example, instead of saying, “My goal is to lose 30 lbs.,” I could say, “I will work out three days a week.” Instead of declaring, “I will write that book this year,” I could say, “I will write 200 pages every other day.” The focus shifts to the journey—and what you learn about yourself along the way. After all, self-betterment is about becoming a better you for yourself, not for others.

This process also allows you to reflect on the deeper motivations behind your resolutions. Are they truly yours, or are they driven by a desire to be better received by others? For instance, do you really want to lose weight, dress differently, buy a house, or get that car—or do you believe those things will make you more acceptable to others?

To explore this further, I turned back to research, specifically the debate of results versus process. After reading a half-dozen articles, I realized that it depends on context. In the context of self-improvement—not business or organizational goals—most experts agreed that focusing on the process naturally leads to results. In fact, four out of six articles pointed out that if you focus on one, you’ll often achieve the other.

In other words, if I commit to working out three days a week for a year, my chances of losing 30 lbs. are much higher than if “lose 30 lbs.” were my initial goal.

Yes, I get it—and I hope you do, too. In the pursuit of self-betterment, it’s often best to engage in the process first while keeping your goals in sight. If your goals are truly yours, the process will bring clarity, insight, and progress toward becoming a better version of yourself.

Happy New Year!

Peace – Shawn Moore