How to Have the Estate Planning Conversation with Your Parents

When it comes to estate planning, Millennials aren’t just responsible for thinking about their own plans—they should also be having critical conversations with their parents, who are likely Baby Boomers. These discussions are essential not only for ensuring the financial well-being of their parents but also for preparing to take action in the event of a parent’s incapacity or death. While it may feel uncomfortable or difficult to bring up the topic, there are ways to approach the conversation that can make it easier and more natural.

Why It’s Important to Talk to Your Parents About Estate Planning

Estate planning is something most people tend to avoid, but for Millennials, the need to initiate these discussions with their parents is becoming increasingly clear. Many Baby Boomers are reaching an age where health issues may arise, and having a plan in place ensures that both the parent and their children are prepared to handle difficult situations, including medical emergencies, financial decision-making, and eventual estate administration.

By having the conversation now, you can avoid confusion, legal challenges, and emotional stress when the time comes to act on your parents’ behalf. You’ll also be more informed about their wishes, helping you honor their legacy in the way they intend.

How to Bring It Up: Cues, Phrases, and Events

Estate planning is often a delicate subject, but there are several ways to identify opportunities to naturally introduce the topic in conversation.

  1. Use Real-Life Experiences as Conversation Starters One of the easiest ways to open the door to estate planning discussions is to relate to experiences your parents may have had with their own parents. Baby Boomers are at an age where they may be dealing with the settling of their own parents’ estates. If you’ve noticed them handling the administration of a will, trust, or other estate planning matters, use that moment to engage them. By framing the conversation around a personal experience, you can lead into the discussion with empathy and understanding.
  2. Connect the Conversation to Life Events Certain life events—such as a family member’s death, a divorce, or a change in a relative’s mental or physical health—can serve as natural points of entry into estate planning discussions. These situations often raise concerns about what happens when someone is no longer capable of making decisions for themselves, which creates a perfect opportunity to ask your parents if they’ve thought about their own plans. Life events make the conversation feel relevant and timely, encouraging a productive discussion.
  3. Talk About Your Own Estate Planning If you’ve started working on your own estate plan, use that as a way to initiate the conversation with your parents. Let them know that you’ve been thinking ahead, and ask if they’ve done the same. This approach normalizes the conversation and demonstrates that estate planning is for everyone.

Making the Conversation Productive

Once you’ve opened the door, the key is to keep the conversation productive. Estate planning can be emotional and sensitive topic, so it’s important to approach the discussion with care and respect. Encourage your parents to speak with a trusted estate planning attorney if they haven’t already, and offer to help them review or update their documents if needed. The goal is to make sure everyone is on the same page and that your parents’ wishes are clearly documented.

Final Thoughts

Starting the estate planning conversation with your parents can be daunting, but it’s an essential part of ensuring their wishes are honored and that you’re prepared to step in when needed. By recognizing opportunities to bring up the topic and approaching it with empathy, Millennials can play a crucial role in securing their parents’ future—and their own peace of mind.